woah girl polka dots just aren’t for you sorry =\ I really love how educational Marina is, reminds of the hotforprofits girl and her work at home methods.
matalexwolf on
October 4th, 2008 9:39 pm
..a businessman on a visit abroad sent a postcard back to his wife which read: The weather is here. Wish you were lovely!
matalexwolf on
September 22nd, 2008 5:44 pm
After hours,I went back to a mates house for a few more beers. There were no clocks or watches about so I asked my friend what the time was. He pulled out this 5ft Gong and a hammer, opened the window then gave the gong a massive loud bang. Soon after, the neighbour shouted across “What the bloody hell do you think you are doing making that noise at four in the morning!”
matalexwolf on
September 22nd, 2008 5:40 pm
On settling up the hotel bill, I was shocked by the amount “£650? What on earth for, we only stayed on evening!” - “Well Sir, we have a swimming pool” - “But I didn’t use it!” -”It was there Sir, you could have used it, as with the Gym, the bowls green or the health and beauty club!” - “Oh, I see!” - So I payed the £650 and gave the hotel receptionist an invoice for £550. - “What is this please Sir?” - “Well, you know my wife?” - “Yes!” - “She was also here, you could have used her!”
matalexwolf on
September 22nd, 2008 5:34 pm
Went to the marrage advisor when the doc. asked if the Mrs and I had anything in common. “Yes!” - I replied ” Neither one of us sucks any cock!”
matalexwolf on
September 22nd, 2008 5:31 pm
The mrs came home caught me swatting flies..”I have killed five flies, three males and two females” - ” How do you know what sex they are?” - “Well, three were resting on the empty beer cans, the other two were sat on the phone!”
matalexwolf on
September 22nd, 2008 5:28 pm
went for a pint the other evening, walked in bumping into a midget, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there my friend, let me buy you a pint” - we got chatting, I asked what it is that he does. “I’m in the circus, has been in the family for years. My wife will be here soon, it’s our wedding anniversery, you’ll get to meet her” - when suddenly, in walks this 7ft 4″ woman, full of beard and muscles. “Can I buy you a drink to celebrate?” - “No thanks, I’m pregnant” she replied. “Oh,will it be a boy or a girl?” - “We don’t mind what it is, only as long it fits into the cannon!”
matalexwolf on
September 15th, 2008 7:17 am
Many
years ago in England , pub frequenters had
a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When
they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet
your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this
practice.
matalexwolf on
September 15th, 2008 7:16 am
Hi Marina, do you know or could you investiagte where we get the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’? please
Cheers
matalexwolf on
September 5th, 2008 4:06 pm
a mouth, two eyes, two ears and a nose go to a bar one day, the bar man refuses to give them any drinks. Mouth asked why this was, bar man replied because you are already off your faces!!
Jokes: just okay. Watching you tell them: priceless!
tryant on
August 1st, 2008 11:38 am
I hope this old joke hasn’t been covered already,I’m behind and no time to read all the posts.
A length of rope walks into a bar,jumps up on the barstool and says “Hey Bartender,gimme a drink”,the Bartender walks over and says “Sorry Pal,We don’t serve alcohol to ropes in here”.The rope was very pissed-off as He walked out because it was the 3rd bar He had gotten the same response from and a terrible thirst was upon Him.
Right then a stranger walked past and the rope says “Hey,fella,tie Me into knot would Ya? The stranger did,”OK,now fray My ends would Ya? the stranger did.
The length of rope went back into the last bar,jumped up on the barstool and said “Hey,Bartender,bring Me a drink”,the Bartender walks over,looks close and says “Hey,are You that length of rope I just denied service to?”..The length of rope says “Nope,,I’m a frayed knot”,He got His drink.
matalexwolf on
July 30th, 2008 10:25 am
Three guys, an Englishman, and Scotishman and an Irishman walk into a pub and wait to be served. They all suffer with a stutter. The bar lady was a beautiful buxom blond, very attractive. She looks at the Englishman and asks what he would like to drink. The Englishman replied ‘P…pp..pp..per…per..per.. per…pint of bitter’ - The Scotish guy replied ‘w..w..wer…wer..wer..wer.whiskey’ - The Irish guy replied ‘G…G…Ger..Ger…Ger..Guiness’ — The bar lady got there drinks and thought it would be fun to ask ‘If any of you can tell me where you come from, with out suttering, you can come upstairs and sleep with me’ - The three guys were all really happy and agreed to give it ago. Firstly the English Guy sad ‘I come from L..L…Ler. Ler…Ler London, sod it!’ - The Scottish guy said ‘ I come from G..G…Gla…Glas…Glasgow, sod it!’ - The Irish guy said ‘ I come from London!’ - ‘Great!’ relpied the bar lady, ‘lets got to bed!’ - So up stairs they went and got busy with it. When the Irish guy was just about to climax he finished by saying ‘de…der..de..der…de derry!’ (its the way you tell ‘em!)
I hope no one is offended by this somewhat not politically correct joke, but it’s a good one. I mean no harm. It’s better with the visuals, but hopefully you get it.
A teacher takes his hearing impaired students across the street to a bar. He says to the bartender, holding up one finger, “this means they want a beer”. Holding up two fingers, he says, “this means they want a shot, okay?” The bartender says he’s got it. The teacher says he has to go back to class and to call him if there are any problems.
A couple of hours later the bartender comes running into the classroom, panicking. The teacher asks what’s wrong? The bartender replies, holding up one finger, “okay. This means they want a beer, right?” The teacher nods. Holding up two fingers, the bartender says, “and this means they want a shot, right?” The teacher again nods. “So what’s the problem then?”
The bartender opens and closes his fingers against his thumb rapidly, sort of like a duck quacking motion, and says, “so what the heck does this mean?”
The teacher replies, “Oh my God! Now you’ve got them singing I’ll never get them out of there!”
An oldie but a goodie.
leonard on
July 29th, 2008 3:26 pm
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender,” I’m lookng for the man who shot my paw”.
ivano_onavi on
July 29th, 2008 1:32 pm
I always hear in nautical term “mother of pearl”….so I know it has something to do with a rainbowish shine…I believe?….but if I’m wrong….who is this mother of a pearl? Dear, hotforwords, if you could please investigate.
lividemeraldreplied on August 15th, 2008 10:43 am:
The daughter was Minnie Pearl. Not sure who the mother was.
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
‘Congratulations,’ says the nurse to the new parents. ‘Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?’
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, ‘Well, two Wong’s don’t make a white, so I think we will name him…
The two political parties Liberal and Conservative where did those words come from and why those?
geronimo replied on July 29th, 2008 11:38 am:
Liberal and conservative are not political parties. There is the Republican party and the Democrat primarily, along with some less successful parties like libertarians, Green, Etc. Most Democrats lean toward liberal ideals and Republicans usually lean toward conservative ideals. There are liberal Republicans and conservative Democrats. In a very very general sense of the words, liberal means to be generous and conservative less than generous. Although everyone has different ideas on what generosity is, so these labels don’t really give accurate descriptions of the parties. I don’t really feel that it is generous to raise my taxes every chance you get.
Hello Marina,
Your appearance today is very refined and cultivated.
Beautiful as always.
OK, enough of that. Time for more fun!
“Alcohol and Psychics don’t mix- never drink and divine.”
Warren
“I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.”
Fred Allen
“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
George Carlin
“I don’t drink these days. I’m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.”
Robert Downey Jr.
“My wife says that I’m Scotch by absorption.”
Magnus Magnusson
“Work is the curse of the drinking class”
Oscar Wilde
Stages of Drunkenness
1. Witty and Charming
2. Rich and Famous
3. Benevolent
4. Clairvoyent
5. Patriotic
6. Witty and Charming Part Two
7. Invisible
8. Bulletproof
A drunk walked into a bar and the bartender refused to serve him. “You’ve had too much to drink, I’m not serving you”.
Five minutes later the drunk came in again. The bartender stood firm. “There’s no way I’m serving you more alcohol. You’ve had more than enough already”. Another five minutes and the same thing happened and the bartender once again refused. The drunk nodded. “I guess I must be,” he said. The last two places said the same thing”.
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husbands key in the door. “Stay where you are”, she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice that you’re in bed with me.”
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”
“Nonsense”, said the wife. “You’re so drunk, you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two, three, four. You’re right, you know.”
“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
George Carlin
dang, what a whoos!
The palinka we make around here is around 45-48 degrees, and drink that from the fridge on a hot day
Also, did any of you guys drink the 80 deg. Absynth from the bottle?
If not, don’t! If you like breathing as a habit, just trust me on this one.
Yes, there are definately seveal stages of drunkenness that could be added to this list.
lividemeraldreplied on August 15th, 2008 10:47 am:
Absinthe reminds me of “Moulin Rouge” wherein the Green Fairy goes pretty darn wild. It would be fun to see Marina do a take on the Green Fairy.
n0bility on
July 29th, 2008 9:54 am
Hey there hotforwords,
I have watched a number of your videos and they are quite entertaining. It’s great to see an attractive woman so into knowledge and having fun with it.
I have a request for a phrase, I know it is not a word but I am hoping you can help me.
I recently used the phrase “Wait a hot minute”. My friend had never heard that phrase before and I tried to google it to see if I could find out the meaning. But alas, I was dismayed to find no results that indicated the meaning.
So I would like to request that hotforwords investigate that phrase.
you used it without knowing what it means? so you didn’t know what you were talking about?
n0bility replied on July 29th, 2008 10:05 am:
Oh yeah. That is pretty typical for me. I am not as edumacated as I would like to be. I would have to say that a majority of words that come out of my mouth are used in ignorance. I wish I could say that I knew the meaning of all the phrases and words that I use, but alas, I have not delved into the fascinating world that is our language.
Shame on me? Yes, with great shame, I admit it.
Thanks for calling me out on it.
PS. I thought that this was the reason that Marina did stuff like this. To help explain some of the common phrases and words that we use and where they come from and what they mean. No?
ragabashmoon replied on July 29th, 2008 10:07 am:
Haha. Well, maybe he used it knowing the proper time to use it, but not the actual meaning. Lots of phrases we use we don’t really know the meaning of or the origin, we just know the proper place to use them lol.
dude. chill. what i meant was, you don’t just make phrases up and then ask someone else what they mean. if you used that phrase you knew what you meant by it when you said it, right?
n0bility replied on July 29th, 2008 10:15 am:
Haha, It’s hard to convey tone when doing posts. I apologize if I came across as defensive. I meant it more as a playful tone.
I used it in the right way, I was just curious as to what it actually means.
Sorry about that. Don’t want to start anything this early in the day.
Hello aLx
What does ” :PP ” mean?
I’ve always enjoyed an honest point of view that is educational.
I bought a book on verbs because of one of your earlier comments- something about using a conjugated verb.
Knowing what a word “means” does not automatcally explane the etimology and sometimes there is a none-too-subtle deference between what is said & what is heard. I only know this because once I was misinterpreted, but it only happened once and every other time I know the exact defintion and etimology of every word and phrase I use…I’m so good as a matter of fact that this site is below me and really a waste of time.
man oh man, how I love it when pplz mess up.
okay4now, you say that you knowingly use words with their correct meaning and that you were only misinterpreted once.
Well, here’s twice: What were you referring to when you said “explane”? Anything to do with the also very commonly known “whayplane” and “zetplane”? I’m sorry to bore you with my pedantries, and also for wasting your time.
The book is titled:
“501 Englisg Verbs”, fully conjugated in all the tenses in an easy-to-learn format alphabetically arranged
So yes, it’s cool.
Stopping at this site has made me aware of how I hack the language up and so I try not to be as lazy when I speak/write.
I’ve been relearning- it just takes a bit of time.
lividemeraldreplied on August 15th, 2008 10:48 am:
PP is a rural road in Southern Missouri. I’m not kidding.
Shame on me? Yes, with great shame, I admit it.
Thanks for calling me out on it.
PS. I thought that this was the reason that Marina did stuff like this. To help explain some of the common phrases and words that we use and where they come from and what they mean. No?
No shame here n0bility. You requested a phase just like teacher asked for. She doesn’t reply to all request right away because there are so many to do she would never get any videos made. Stay tuned she just might make one. In the mean time maybe one of our good students can fill you in.
okay4now replied on July 29th, 2008 12:58 pm:
TA-J: No, I don’t feel that way.
Bob: Thanks for the check. Many more SP mistakes to come I promise.
Chem: See 2 preceding sentences.
dmranger on
July 29th, 2008 9:46 am
Marina now this is a Bar Joke.
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of vodka. The bartender pours him a drink and the man drinks it and slams the shot galss on the counter and says give me another the bartender pours another drink and the man again drinks it slams the shot glass onto the counter and says give me one more.
The bartender asks the man what are you celebrating? The man replies well its my 40th birthday and i just got my first blowjob The bartender says congratulations the next drink is on the house. The man replies no thanks if the first three drinks do not get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
ragabashmoon on
July 29th, 2008 9:46 am
Why do the dogs not let cats play poker with them?
Because the only cats that want to play are cheetahs!
Haha ok, maybe not so great a joke, but… I want to request the word cheetah. Does it have any relation to cheater in reality?
Couldnt do it, was it you that ate withe your hands infront of family? I will give u a mention on the vid I just uploaded if it was
matalexwolf replied on July 30th, 2008 10:59 am:
yes, it was I James Did try with feat at Bar-b-q over weekend, very hot between toes with chicken jerky. Some mad types are trying ‘no fork’ eating over here. Next challenge has to be chop sticks on feat!! (cant belive im saying this but its true!!!!)
pennsyltucky9 replied on July 30th, 2008 12:05 am:
Now THAT was philsophical!
tedt on
July 29th, 2008 7:28 am
The bartender haven´t sold me anything, he just said : ” Get of my woman”. (dumb one, but a true and possible way to do it )
listomar on
July 29th, 2008 7:24 am
How about doing a video about the word “Sisu”. Though it is from the Finnish language and isn’t widely used in the english language (though it is in the dictionary), it’s quite an interesting word, and the history behind is cool too.
prospero811 on
July 29th, 2008 7:22 am
Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, “You guys’d better not start anything in here…”
You’re getting around today, eric; Bar & Pub, Hot Synonyms, Soccer, BBQ Game, Soap Opera, Duck Tape!
Can’t make up your mind where to be?
Have you been drinking at the Uncertainty Pub?
prospero811 on
July 29th, 2008 7:21 am
A bear walks into a bar. He goes up to the barman and asks, “Can I have a large gin and………. tonic, please?” The bartender replies, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?” The bear holds up his paws, looks at them, and says, “Well, I’m a bear!”
canadadan1971 on
July 29th, 2008 6:51 am
A clown walks into a bar and the doorman won’t let him in.
“Please?” asks the clown.
“Ok,” says the doorman, “But no funny business!”
that reminds me, someone told me that ok stood for zero killed, is that true?
A motorway walks into a pub and orders a drink. Just as he sits down, in walks a strip of tarmac.
The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic, jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won’t see him. The barman looks down at him and says, “What’s the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You’ve got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a skinny piece of tarmac?
The motorway replies, “You don’t know him like I do. He’s a mean, vicious killer. He’s a cyclepath.”
pennsyltucky9 replied on July 29th, 2008 9:01 am:
(Groan!)
killbill on
July 29th, 2008 5:36 am
Hello Marina !
word SPOOKY — > do You have idea where did it come from ???
thx
killbill
prospero811 on
July 29th, 2008 4:42 am
Two lesbians walk into a bar and the bartender asks “What can I get ya?”
one looks at the other and smirks ” how bout a couple of hot 17 year olds”
The Bartender say ” I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors to liquors”
prospero811 on
July 29th, 2008 4:41 am
A proton walks into a bar
He asks for a drink.
The bartender asks, “Are you sure?”
the proton says, “Yeah. I’m positive.”
prospero811 on
July 29th, 2008 4:40 am
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” The string exits the bar, ties itself up and unravels its ends. The string re-enters the bar. The bartender says, “Aren’t you the string I just sent out of here?”
The string replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.” (afraid not)
While the Word studies are fun, and occasionally I use them to start discussion topics in class myself, could you also take things a step further, maybe even have hotforgrammar?
Chuck Norris walks into a bar full of drunk bikers. He orders a glass of water and everybody laughed. Chuck does a few roundbar kicks and then rides off into the sunset on 50 motorcycles.
Made it up…
You don’t see them because they’re secret societies, like mel telling private jokes to CJ, and aLx and Buzzword having secret lovers trysts behind the bike sheds.
chiefakira replied on July 29th, 2008 9:01 am:
yes but then bruce lee follows him all the way to the colleseum in italy and puts him down to rest see movie : way of the dragon
Who out there is an armature Green Thumb like me? My R/C helicopter buddy Dave Herbert and his wife Ilea Herbert, from Sibley, Iowa. Has a guess the name of this flower video. See how many you can guess. Flower Power by Ilea Herbert
Tell me how many you got right. I think I only was able to name 30% of them.
That was beautiful Jack. I have never seen a Humming bird nest until her video. We have 4 to 6 Humming birds that visit our feeders, so now I have an idea of how small their eggs are.
Marina, I really liked your two black outfits, very sharp looking. I like your tastes in the outfits you purchase. I have a question. Do you have a two bedroom apartment? One room for you to sleep in and the other for your wardrobe?
Yes, poker is good. (perhaps now i might get mentioned!! )
I request poker
dellforce on
July 28th, 2008 11:51 pm
Hola, Marina!! Qué pasa, chica!!??!! Would you be able to understand this if I were to write it entirely in Spanish?
My word request is one that I’ve passed by you a long time ago (I understand when you’re handling word requests from the whole world it’s hard to do them all). It was around the time you were opening the show with the cacophony of animal noises, so I thought for sure I had a chance. Actually, I had requested (as I request now) ostracize and it’s relation to the bird, ostrich (if there is a connection {I’m sure there is one}). Please investigate that for me!
And the joke you requested: 3 notes walk into a bar, C, E flat and G.
As soon as the bartender saw them he ran over to them and yelled, “HEY!! GET OUTTA HERE!! WE DON’T SERVE MINORS”!!!
mmmmmmmMMMMMMMWAHH!
roadrunrnch on
July 28th, 2008 11:44 pm
when I was a kid, Pig was just a derogatory name for the Police, P[ig]OLICE
PORKER ( like Copper)
A fat sloppy doubled chinned Cop ie, Pig?
The Fuzz, Because of their hair cut.
shane on
July 28th, 2008 10:55 pm
Hey Marina,
I saw on one of your CoComment posts that you have been trying to use Word Press on your iphone 3G and having some error messages.
Have you tried Type Pad? They have a free blog update application for the iphone as well, and it seems to have gotten pretty high reviews from most people.
Until Word PRess comes out with an update, you might give Type Pad a try and see if it works for you.
Hi Shane,
Marina has too much time and effort in Wordpress not to go and switch to another blogging solution. WP will fix their problem adventualy. I believe Marina is always searching for better solutions. Thank you for the suggestion.
If I was with any friend of mine who loses to me in either pool or darts I would ask the bartender “Hey bartender, can you give my friend a tissue,I’m sure he (or she) will need it on the home.”
I’ve frequent many pubs in Australia years ago and it look the same as any US bar. There are Bars in Australia as there are Pubs in US. I think the term is mixing up a bit just for the lack of trademark names. Joe’s Bar vs Joe’s Pub.
thanks, jack.
you know, there are a lot of “irish pubs” around, but i ain’t never seen an “irish bar”. there are “sportsbars” but no “sportspubs”. i know of “barflies“, never heard of “pubflies”.
aLx, Your too funny with your word play.
I have seen an Irish Bar of Soap.
mrchex on
July 28th, 2008 9:53 pm
Don’t “give me any of your guff!” I ran across “guff” in the dictionary looking for something else, wondered where it came from, and investigated! I thought you would like to as well because it wasn’t what I expected and was funny. Do a hot for words on thing people will like it and i am aching for recognition *cough*
A prison and a jail are basically the same thing. A person incarcerated in a prison is called a “prisoner”, but a “jailer” is the person doing the incarcerating, much the opposite. Why?
koryz14 on
July 28th, 2008 9:21 pm
Hey Hot For Words.
You know the saying
They can Take it, but not dish it out.
Where does that come from, *dish it out*? Hope you can help. Thanks!
I’ll have a vodka martini. 3 measures of Gordons gin. 1 measure vodka. 1/2 measure kina lillet. shake over ice. add thin slice of lemon peel.
Best bar joke
woah girl polka dots just aren’t for you sorry =\ I really love how educational Marina is, reminds of the hotforprofits girl and her work at home methods.
..a businessman on a visit abroad sent a postcard back to his wife which read: The weather is here. Wish you were lovely!
After hours,I went back to a mates house for a few more beers. There were no clocks or watches about so I asked my friend what the time was. He pulled out this 5ft Gong and a hammer, opened the window then gave the gong a massive loud bang. Soon after, the neighbour shouted across “What the bloody hell do you think you are doing making that noise at four in the morning!”
On settling up the hotel bill, I was shocked by the amount “£650? What on earth for, we only stayed on evening!” - “Well Sir, we have a swimming pool” - “But I didn’t use it!” -”It was there Sir, you could have used it, as with the Gym, the bowls green or the health and beauty club!” - “Oh, I see!” - So I payed the £650 and gave the hotel receptionist an invoice for £550. - “What is this please Sir?” - “Well, you know my wife?” - “Yes!” - “She was also here, you could have used her!”
Went to the marrage advisor when the doc. asked if the Mrs and I had anything in common. “Yes!” - I replied ” Neither one of us sucks any cock!”
The mrs came home caught me swatting flies..”I have killed five flies, three males and two females” - ” How do you know what sex they are?” - “Well, three were resting on the empty beer cans, the other two were sat on the phone!”
went for a pint the other evening, walked in bumping into a midget, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there my friend, let me buy you a pint” - we got chatting, I asked what it is that he does. “I’m in the circus, has been in the family for years. My wife will be here soon, it’s our wedding anniversery, you’ll get to meet her” - when suddenly, in walks this 7ft 4″ woman, full of beard and muscles. “Can I buy you a drink to celebrate?” - “No thanks, I’m pregnant” she replied. “Oh,will it be a boy or a girl?” - “We don’t mind what it is, only as long it fits into the cannon!”
Many
years ago in England , pub frequenters had
a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When
they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet
your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this
practice.
Hi Marina, do you know or could you investiagte where we get the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’? please
Cheers
a mouth, two eyes, two ears and a nose go to a bar one day, the bar man refuses to give them any drinks. Mouth asked why this was, bar man replied because you are already off your faces!!
Jokes: just okay. Watching you tell them: priceless!
I hope this old joke hasn’t been covered already,I’m behind and no time to read all the posts.
A length of rope walks into a bar,jumps up on the barstool and says “Hey Bartender,gimme a drink”,the Bartender walks over and says “Sorry Pal,We don’t serve alcohol to ropes in here”.The rope was very pissed-off as He walked out because it was the 3rd bar He had gotten the same response from and a terrible thirst was upon Him.
Right then a stranger walked past and the rope says “Hey,fella,tie Me into knot would Ya? The stranger did,”OK,now fray My ends would Ya? the stranger did.
The length of rope went back into the last bar,jumped up on the barstool and said “Hey,Bartender,bring Me a drink”,the Bartender walks over,looks close and says “Hey,are You that length of rope I just denied service to?”..The length of rope says “Nope,,I’m a frayed knot”,He got His drink.
Three guys, an Englishman, and Scotishman and an Irishman walk into a pub and wait to be served. They all suffer with a stutter. The bar lady was a beautiful buxom blond, very attractive. She looks at the Englishman and asks what he would like to drink. The Englishman replied ‘P…pp..pp..per…per..per.. per…pint of bitter’ - The Scotish guy replied ‘w..w..wer…wer..wer..wer.whiskey’ - The Irish guy replied ‘G…G…Ger..Ger…Ger..Guiness’ — The bar lady got there drinks and thought it would be fun to ask ‘If any of you can tell me where you come from, with out suttering, you can come upstairs and sleep with me’ - The three guys were all really happy and agreed to give it ago. Firstly the English Guy sad ‘I come from L..L…Ler. Ler…Ler London, sod it!’ - The Scottish guy said ‘ I come from G..G…Gla…Glas…Glasgow, sod it!’ - The Irish guy said ‘ I come from London!’ - ‘Great!’ relpied the bar lady, ‘lets got to bed!’ - So up stairs they went and got busy with it. When the Irish guy was just about to climax he finished by saying ‘de…der..de..der…de derry!’
(its the way you tell ‘em!)
I hope no one is offended by this somewhat not politically correct joke, but it’s a good one. I mean no harm. It’s better with the visuals, but hopefully you get it.
A teacher takes his hearing impaired students across the street to a bar. He says to the bartender, holding up one finger, “this means they want a beer”. Holding up two fingers, he says, “this means they want a shot, okay?” The bartender says he’s got it. The teacher says he has to go back to class and to call him if there are any problems.
A couple of hours later the bartender comes running into the classroom, panicking. The teacher asks what’s wrong? The bartender replies, holding up one finger, “okay. This means they want a beer, right?” The teacher nods. Holding up two fingers, the bartender says, “and this means they want a shot, right?” The teacher again nods. “So what’s the problem then?”
The bartender opens and closes his fingers against his thumb rapidly, sort of like a duck quacking motion, and says, “so what the heck does this mean?”
The teacher replies, “Oh my God! Now you’ve got them singing I’ll never get them out of there!”
An oldie but a goodie.
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender,” I’m lookng for the man who shot my paw”.
I always hear in nautical term “mother of pearl”….so I know it has something to do with a rainbowish shine…I believe?….but if I’m wrong….who is this mother of a pearl? Dear, hotforwords, if you could please investigate.
The daughter was Minnie Pearl. Not sure who the mother was.
New vid’s up. Gotta dash.
Who wants to watch Hot Synonyms again with me?
Can you make a video on the word “phantom”?
This isn’t a bar joke, but it so funny
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
‘Congratulations,’ says the nurse to the new parents. ‘Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?’
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, ‘Well, two Wong’s don’t make a white, so I think we will name him…
Are you ready for this?
Sum Ting Wong
very good one
The two political parties Liberal and Conservative where did those words come from and why those?
Liberal and conservative are not political parties. There is the Republican party and the Democrat primarily, along with some less successful parties like libertarians, Green, Etc. Most Democrats lean toward liberal ideals and Republicans usually lean toward conservative ideals. There are liberal Republicans and conservative Democrats. In a very very general sense of the words, liberal means to be generous and conservative less than generous. Although everyone has different ideas on what generosity is, so these labels don’t really give accurate descriptions of the parties. I don’t really feel that it is generous to raise my taxes every chance you get.
They are political parties in the UK.
That’s like the third time the UK has spoiled my answer. Damn you UK!
Sorry, G, but just remember, WE invented everything first.
Hell, we even invented America, God forgive us.
Both words “left” and “right” have different meanings that are not related to “side”
whats the history of those words??? what did they initially mean??
Hello Marina,
Your appearance today is very refined and cultivated.
Beautiful as always.
OK, enough of that. Time for more fun!
“Alcohol and Psychics don’t mix- never drink and divine.”
Warren
“I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.”
Fred Allen
“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
George Carlin
“I don’t drink these days. I’m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.”
Robert Downey Jr.
“My wife says that I’m Scotch by absorption.”
Magnus Magnusson
“Work is the curse of the drinking class”
Oscar Wilde
Stages of Drunkenness
1. Witty and Charming
2. Rich and Famous
3. Benevolent
4. Clairvoyent
5. Patriotic
6. Witty and Charming Part Two
7. Invisible
8. Bulletproof
A drunk walked into a bar and the bartender refused to serve him. “You’ve had too much to drink, I’m not serving you”.
Five minutes later the drunk came in again. The bartender stood firm. “There’s no way I’m serving you more alcohol. You’ve had more than enough already”. Another five minutes and the same thing happened and the bartender once again refused. The drunk nodded. “I guess I must be,” he said. The last two places said the same thing”.
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husbands key in the door. “Stay where you are”, she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice that you’re in bed with me.”
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”
“Nonsense”, said the wife. “You’re so drunk, you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two, three, four. You’re right, you know.”
“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
If you like breathing as a habit, just trust me on this one. 
George Carlin
dang, what a whoos!
The palinka we make around here is around 45-48 degrees, and drink that from the fridge on a hot day
Also, did any of you guys drink the 80 deg. Absynth from the bottle?
If not, don’t!
Warren, on your “Stages of Drunkenness” add me with Eccentric at numbers 6 through 7.
I thought Absynth was no longer available.
Yes, there are definately seveal stages of drunkenness that could be added to this list.
Absinthe reminds me of “Moulin Rouge” wherein the Green Fairy goes pretty darn wild. It would be fun to see Marina do a take on the Green Fairy.
Hey there hotforwords,
I have watched a number of your videos and they are quite entertaining. It’s great to see an attractive woman so into knowledge and having fun with it.
I have a request for a phrase, I know it is not a word but I am hoping you can help me.
I recently used the phrase “Wait a hot minute”. My friend had never heard that phrase before and I tried to google it to see if I could find out the meaning. But alas, I was dismayed to find no results that indicated the meaning.
So I would like to request that hotforwords investigate that phrase.
Thank you in advance.
N0bility
you used it without knowing what it means? so you didn’t know what you were talking about?
Oh yeah. That is pretty typical for me. I am not as edumacated as I would like to be. I would have to say that a majority of words that come out of my mouth are used in ignorance. I wish I could say that I knew the meaning of all the phrases and words that I use, but alas, I have not delved into the fascinating world that is our language.
Shame on me? Yes, with great shame, I admit it.
Thanks for calling me out on it.
PS. I thought that this was the reason that Marina did stuff like this. To help explain some of the common phrases and words that we use and where they come from and what they mean. No?
Haha. Well, maybe he used it knowing the proper time to use it, but not the actual meaning. Lots of phrases we use we don’t really know the meaning of or the origin, we just know the proper place to use them lol.
dude. chill. what i meant was, you don’t just make phrases up and then ask someone else what they mean. if you used that phrase you knew what you meant by it when you said it, right?
Haha, It’s hard to convey tone when doing posts. I apologize if I came across as defensive. I meant it more as a playful tone.
I used it in the right way, I was just curious as to what it actually means.
Sorry about that. Don’t want to start anything this early in the day.
aLx, It’s not made up. I use the phase “Hold on and just wait one hot minute!”. I use this for when people get into a heated argument.
huh? it’s 7:21 pm over here. bring it on. :PP
haha, ok, not to early for you, still the morning for me….although approaching noon so watch out!!
Hello aLx
What does ” :PP ” mean?
I’ve always enjoyed an honest point of view that is educational.
I bought a book on verbs because of one of your earlier comments- something about using a conjugated verb.
that’s just a smiley, this one:
, though not as a graphical smiley. just tilt your head to the left. ;P
oh yeah. hope the book’s cool?
Knowing what a word “means” does not automatcally explane the etimology and sometimes there is a none-too-subtle deference between what is said & what is heard. I only know this because once I was misinterpreted, but it only happened once and every other time I know the exact defintion and etimology of every word and phrase I use…I’m so good as a matter of fact that this site is below me and really a waste of time.
It means he speaks with a forked tongue (but being aLx he pronounces it a bit different).
o4n, i wasn’t talking about etymology. wtf.
Me either.
man oh man, how I love it when pplz mess up.
I’m sorry to bore you with my pedantries, and also for wasting your time. 
okay4now, you say that you knowingly use words with their correct meaning and that you were only misinterpreted once.
Well, here’s twice: What were you referring to when you said “explane”? Anything to do with the also very commonly known “whayplane” and “zetplane”?
way below you,
Chemi
Chemikal, you could show a little deference towards his difference in spelling etymology, too.
Mr. aLx, please be nice.
okay4now, Im sorry you feel that way here. We appreciate your knowledge you bring to the table.
ummm. i am nice. really.
I know your are aLx.
The book is titled:
“501 Englisg Verbs”, fully conjugated in all the tenses in an easy-to-learn format alphabetically arranged
So yes, it’s cool.
Stopping at this site has made me aware of how I hack the language up and so I try not to be as lazy when I speak/write.
I’ve been relearning- it just takes a bit of time.
PP is a rural road in Southern Missouri. I’m not kidding.
No shame here n0bility. You requested a phase just like teacher asked for. She doesn’t reply to all request right away because there are so many to do she would never get any videos made. Stay tuned she just might make one. In the mean time maybe one of our good students can fill you in.
TA-J: No, I don’t feel that way.
Bob: Thanks for the check. Many more SP mistakes to come I promise.
Chem: See 2 preceding sentences.
Marina now this is a Bar Joke.
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of vodka. The bartender pours him a drink and the man drinks it and slams the shot galss on the counter and says give me another the bartender pours another drink and the man again drinks it slams the shot glass onto the counter and says give me one more.
The bartender says congratulations the next drink is on the house. The man replies no thanks if the first three drinks do not get the taste out of my mouth nothing will. 
The bartender asks the man what are you celebrating? The man replies well its my 40th birthday and i just got my first blowjob
Why do the dogs not let cats play poker with them?
Because the only cats that want to play are cheetahs!
Haha ok, maybe not so great a joke, but… I want to request the word cheetah. Does it have any relation to cheater in reality?
Marina walks into a bar… haha.. that’s just her Orlova.
lol
hey James, how are you? thats a cracker mate. I’ve been Maina to tell you that I too am laughing Orlova……– hows the chop sticks going?
best, matt
Couldnt do it, was it you that ate withe your hands infront of family? I will give u a mention on the vid I just uploaded if it was
yes, it was I James
Did try with feat at Bar-b-q over weekend, very hot between toes with chicken jerky. Some mad types are trying ‘no fork’ eating over here. Next challenge has to be chop sticks on feat!! (cant belive im saying this but its true!!!!)
Yay, she used my olive or twist joke! 217th!!
Monty Python had this to say about that.
Now THAT was philsophical!
The bartender haven´t sold me anything, he just said : ” Get of my woman”. (dumb one, but a true and possible way to do it
)
How about doing a video about the word “Sisu”. Though it is from the Finnish language and isn’t widely used in the english language (though it is in the dictionary), it’s quite an interesting word, and the history behind is cool too.
Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, “You guys’d better not start anything in here…”
You’re getting around today, eric; Bar & Pub, Hot Synonyms, Soccer, BBQ Game, Soap Opera, Duck Tape!
Can’t make up your mind where to be?
Have you been drinking at the
Uncertainty Pub?
A bear walks into a bar. He goes up to the barman and asks, “Can I have a large gin and………. tonic, please?” The bartender replies, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?” The bear holds up his paws, looks at them, and says, “Well, I’m a bear!”
A clown walks into a bar and the doorman won’t let him in.
“Please?” asks the clown.
“Ok,” says the doorman, “But no funny business!”
that reminds me, someone told me that ok stood for zero killed, is that true?
I have a very flexible body
YouTube. Create video of messed up body tounge
A motorway walks into a pub and orders a drink. Just as he sits down, in walks a strip of tarmac.
The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic, jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won’t see him. The barman looks down at him and says, “What’s the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You’ve got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a skinny piece of tarmac?
The motorway replies, “You don’t know him like I do. He’s a mean, vicious killer. He’s a cyclepath.”
(Groan!)
Hello Marina !
word SPOOKY — > do You have idea where did it come from ???
thx
killbill
Two lesbians walk into a bar and the bartender asks “What can I get ya?”
one looks at the other and smirks ” how bout a couple of hot 17 year olds”
The Bartender say ” I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors to liquors”
A proton walks into a bar
He asks for a drink.
The bartender asks, “Are you sure?”
the proton says, “Yeah. I’m positive.”
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” The string exits the bar, ties itself up and unravels its ends. The string re-enters the bar. The bartender says, “Aren’t you the string I just sent out of here?”
The string replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.” (afraid not)
While the Word studies are fun, and occasionally I use them to start discussion topics in class myself, could you also take things a step further, maybe even have hotforgrammar?
Chuck Norris walks into a bar full of drunk bikers. He orders a glass of water and everybody laughed. Chuck does a few roundbar kicks and then rides off into the sunset on 50 motorcycles.
Made it up…
Chuck Norris kicks ars. I like his movies. Not so much his tv show.
Talking of ars, have you seen the pair of panniers on the back of “Ghost Rider 5″ on YouTube?
No I’ll try to find it.
You don’t see them because they’re secret societies, like mel telling private jokes to CJ, and aLx and Buzzword having secret lovers trysts behind the bike sheds.
yes but then bruce lee follows him all the way to the colleseum in italy and puts him down to rest
see movie : way of the dragon
i mean colloseum in italy hehehe
Youtube down for any you ?
no.
“A neutrino walks through a bar..” That is the only physics joke I ever laughed at.
A quark went into a bar and was thrown out because he had no Charm.
I didn’t like that one either. Her charge one about the Neutron was alright though
Hahahah That was funny Shaun.
Your killing me Bob.
Who out there is an armature Green Thumb like me?
My R/C helicopter buddy Dave Herbert and his wife Ilea Herbert, from Sibley, Iowa. Has a guess the name of this flower video. See how many you can guess.
Flower Power by Ilea Herbert
Tell me how many you got right. I think I only was able to name 30% of them.
That was beautiful Jack. I have never seen a Humming bird nest until her video. We have 4 to 6 Humming birds that visit our feeders, so now I have an idea of how small their eggs are.
That was first for me also.
Hey
After the loong words i went looking for something even longer, and came up with a chemical name for the chemical “Titin”
Now .. this chemicals name consists of 189,819 Letters.
Heres the links for the pages i found it on:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_word_in_Engli sh
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titin
http://www.othyr.com/titin.html
I hope you investigate this word, i know its abit insane, but i would love to know what it means, if it means anything at all
Gl hf
Jonas
Technically it’s not an English word, it’s a verbal formulae.
And it most certainly cannot be pronounced.
So says,
Chemikal
Marina, I really liked your two black outfits, very sharp looking. I like your tastes in the outfits you purchase. I have a question. Do you have a two bedroom apartment? One room for you to sleep in and the other for your wardrobe?
Hi Marina!
I’ve got this one:
“floccinaucinihilipilification”
Keep up the good work!
give that a search on youtube, I promise you will have a pleasant surprise.
Lol, i missed that video.
I’ll try better next time
Phrase request : Gravy Train
Two guys walked into a bar
The third one ducked
2 guys walked into a bar and the bar said: Watch where your going!
lol I made that up.
I want to be drunk in a BAR which is legal. They threw me into public.
i was also wondering about the word pool (8 ball pool that is), thanks!
Shawn
i was wondering about the word Poker, and way the game called poker?
Good suggestion 89wheelz89. I think Marina might do that one since she plans to watch a few poker matches on TV. Stay tuned.
The sign outside of bar said, “Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.”
Yes, poker is good. (perhaps now i might get mentioned!!
)
I request poker
Hola, Marina!! Qué pasa, chica!!??!! Would you be able to understand this if I were to write it entirely in Spanish?
My word request is one that I’ve passed by you a long time ago (I understand when you’re handling word requests from the whole world it’s hard to do them all). It was around the time you were opening the show with the cacophony of animal noises, so I thought for sure I had a chance. Actually, I had requested (as I request now) ostracize and it’s relation to the bird, ostrich (if there is a connection {I’m sure there is one}). Please investigate that for me!
And the joke you requested: 3 notes walk into a bar, C, E flat and G.
As soon as the bartender saw them he ran over to them and yelled, “HEY!! GET OUTTA HERE!! WE DON’T SERVE MINORS”!!!
mmmmmmmMMMMMMMWAHH!
when I was a kid, Pig was just a derogatory name for the Police, P[ig]OLICE
PORKER ( like Copper)
A fat sloppy doubled chinned Cop ie, Pig?
The Fuzz, Because of their hair cut.
Hey Marina,
I saw on one of your CoComment posts that you have been trying to use Word Press on your iphone 3G and having some error messages.
Have you tried Type Pad? They have a free blog update application for the iphone as well, and it seems to have gotten pretty high reviews from most people.
Until Word PRess comes out with an update, you might give Type Pad a try and see if it works for you.
Shane
Hi Shane,
Marina has too much time and effort in Wordpress not to go and switch to another blogging solution. WP will fix their problem adventualy. I believe Marina is always searching for better solutions. Thank you for the suggestion.
If I was with any friend of mine who loses to me in either pool or darts I would ask the bartender “Hey bartender, can you give my friend a tissue,I’m sure he (or she) will need it on the home.”
so, uh, is there any difference b/w a bar and a pub? i always thought that “pub” is more like british english, whereas “bar” is used in the us.
I’ve frequent many pubs in Australia years ago and it look the same as any US bar. There are Bars in Australia as there are Pubs in US. I think the term is mixing up a bit just for the lack of trademark names. Joe’s Bar vs Joe’s Pub.
thanks, jack.
you know, there are a lot of “irish pubs” around, but i ain’t never seen an “irish bar”. there are “sportsbars” but no “sportspubs”. i know of “barflies“, never heard of “pubflies”.
aLx, Your too funny with your word play.
I have seen an Irish Bar of Soap.
Don’t “give me any of your guff!” I ran across “guff” in the dictionary looking for something else, wondered where it came from, and investigated! I thought you would like to as well because it wasn’t what I expected and was funny. Do a hot for words on thing people will like it and i am aching for recognition *cough*
This one will kill ya
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TO1K5vAuKZU 
That was funny
I’ll have to remember that one…
Classic
A prison and a jail are basically the same thing. A person incarcerated in a prison is called a “prisoner”, but a “jailer” is the person doing the incarcerating, much the opposite. Why?
Hey Hot For Words.
You know the saying
They can Take it, but not dish it out.
Where does that come from, *dish it out*? Hope you can help. Thanks!