James made a Lady out of me
You may now refer to me as Lady Marina Orlova!
James purchased some land for me in Scotland in December and that entitles me to be referred to as a Lady from now on!!!
How AWESOME is that? Oh.. if I’m a Lady now, I probably shouldn’t use language like that! How splendid is that?
I will be building there shortly, so you can all come visit me when completed. The directions are included in the pictures above.
James also seems to have come across some information about me that I wanted to keep private, but I guess the cat is out of the bag.
James.. thank you so much for this.. it really is one of the best gifts I have ever received! You have truly made a Lady out of me 
I’ve been Mulling what to add, but only note that around Lochaber, the Skye is beautiful off toward the North Uist!
I don’t want to Eigg you on but Islay a pound to a penny that someone will get upset about your Rum sense of humour and Storm away in a huff, unless they decide to grab you by the Collar and throw you into a midden full of Muck, and I Canna say I would blame them.
In sports, I believe that’s what’s called a “home court advantage.”
Lady Orlova your chastity belt has arrived, your trusty hand maiden has the key
{ “….summon ye olde local locksmith post haste” }
Looks like a nice place.
hi,
check out this chacarron remix for marina:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElL-tQO3YeE
¡Jod#r k padre chacarrón guey!
Somebody needs some diction lessons.
Diction lessons eh? Nah. It’s all good. Don’t jinx it.
This is the tartan for her new estate. But since she already has some mini Kilts in different colors, I wonder which one she will prefer.
That is unusual and quite cool @ the same time.
It came out the same as the surround on my P/c — solid black.
Try this CK.
http://www.lochaberhighlandestates.com/crest/tarton.gif
why not put a portable toilet there , and modify it so that people will have to pay to use it , and the door will open after 5 minutes of use automatically .
And how long will it take for some enterprising soul to intentionally expose themselves by exceeding the time limit, thereby causing “great psychological harm” and other contrived damages for which large sums of money will be demanded?
Possible word requests in M’s future: litigate, bankrupt, penniless (in that order).
ahh , we just sue them for “trespassing private property”
After you put up a pay toilet? It could be argued that by making it a pay toilet, you expected the paying public to arrive at one time or another and thereby granted permission to pass.
Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.
– Margaret Thatcher.
Margaret thatcher…. Urgh..
Thanks for the idea James. I think I am going to buy one of those plots. It will be cool to own some land there and help take care of that parcel of forest at the same time from developers.
How did it go?
Not only is Marina learning Gaelic, but she’s now Lady Marina Orlova of Lochaber. We’ll make an honorary Celt out of her yet!
The word “Lady” was the talk on the NBC’s Today Show.
Who is Today’s Lady?
Dear Lady Orlova,
Assuming Scotland is devoid of oil drilling prospects, diamonds, or other precious minerals, building a residence on your estate is a fine alternative albeit with it’s unique challenges. What I’d do is plant an oak tree on your Scottish estate (oaks grow in Scotland…I looked it up), and build a tree house. Or… build tiny.
Oaks grow everywhere!
Cool thing you did for Marina James, proud of you pal.
You can’t believe that oaks grow in the desert or in Antartica, etc.
Be sure to pay the yearly property taxes, or the government will condemn it and sell it. BTW, you made sure this parcel is in as warm a climate as L.A., right? Remember that the temperature is the supposed reason she stayed in the U.S.
There was a company in the ’50s that “sold” square inches of Alaskan property on the back of cereal boxes as joke gifts. But, in order to actually sell land in small pieces, it must be legally divided up. A subdivision map must be submitted to the county, along with a whopping fee (assuming that a minimum lot size has not been established by the county, defeating the whole idea). Of course, nobody is going to do that, so the tiny parcels are not actually sold. They are more likely simply named for someone. Further, in order to build, a percolation test must be done (to assure that the soil will drain), which is digging a two-foot-square hole and filling it with water. Kind of hard to dig a two-foot-square hole on a one-inch-square property! And to allow access to all the other nearby owners, every inch would have to have an easement consisting of the entire property (it would have to be at least as big as a human foot would need to stand on).
It’s still being done today.
Ck what you say is true. If the perk test by some chance passes you have to have a hole big enough for a 1000 gallon septic tank and distribution box then depending on the the code of the state on how long each drain field line must be. Most around here are two 80 foot lines sometimes three. If the soil is very sandy then the tank has to be one to two feet above ground which is ugly in a neighbor hood, the lines have to be close to the top of the ground so the gray water will peculate down through the layers of sand not to fast so it will filter before it before it goes to the water table. All of this for a one foot plot would have to be straight down as there is not enough room to spread out side ways. So much info for how a septic system works when all you have to do is pee on the next plot which is not yours.
And now for the well, no just kidding. 
If you buy a big enough plot they will plant a tree in your honor. The plots come in different sizes. The bigger the plot or plots you buy the more of the amenities from the Lochaber estates you will receive. The sales of the plots seems to go for a great cause.
You got that on my birthday Lady Orlova! The 8th of December looks like the best day of the year ^^
Good thing, because she was dieing to get into the Lady’s room, but they just wouldn’t let her in without a certificate!
Right, owning 1 square foot of land makes her a lady?
I think that what she does, combined with the way she feels about what she does, also the way she interacts with all these people, that is what confers her a Ladylike status.
Anyway, in the U.S. and in the U.K. this word has different meanings. The British will call you a Lady if you own a Laird (or if you’re married to a Lord), and the Americans will call you a Lady to reflect a dose of respect.(Hey Lady, would you mind moving your car please?)
In my view, I call a woman a Lady, only if she is old (an Old Lady). Because I’ve had complaints when calling younger women that. They said not to call them Ladies, they’re not that old!
I was just being respectful, but obviously they thought I wanted to banish them to live in Scotland for the rest of their lives… or something.
It’s a nice thing James did, next thing would be to buy her a star. Which I’m sure he would if he reads this. Young love… so romantic.
HotforManor
Hot for men or … what?
…..or boy
http://www.cartype.com/pics/1644/small/impala_ss_rear_quarter_63.jpg
http://www.mikesoffroad.com/IMAGES%5CPROD%5CDCP_0683sm2.JPG
Great maybe I’ll use it for a gravatar.
Before I had my 69 Chevelle 396 muscle car I had a 62 Impala SS convertible, it was black with white interior and stock SS spinner hub caps.
I can get her a goat for free. A kid if she wants or a full grown goat. Or if she likes sheep I can get her one of them. My neck of the country are full of these animals that belong to farmers here. We have chickens, turkeys, goats, sheep, horses, cows, bulls, Buffalo, Ostriches, and a hole lot of Deer. Every now and then we run up on a bear. We can set Marina up with a good Dowry.
A goat will nibble everything right down to the dirt and then she would be a barren-ness.
I use to serve goat stew in my restaurant; so, she can just turn the whole thing into a pique-nique if she wants to.
Blessing be to you “My Lady”, anyone who does anything to help save the environment is indeed a “blessing”! My hat off to you and may we/they roll out the red carpet when you arrive…..
***Etymological note to Marina***
May it please your Ladyship,
The “aber” in Lochaber is Gaelic and Welsh for a place where one body of water opens into another, e.g. a river mouth, and is cognate with the Latin aperire, “to open.” Exempli gratia: Aberdeen (Scotland), Aberystwyth (Wales).
Did you know that Aberdeen was originally named Aberdon?
There are two rivers which drain into the North Sea at Aberdeen, The Don and The Dee.
The original settlement was established at what is now called Old Aberdeen at the mouth of the River Don. Over the years the city expanded southwards and the centre of gravity gradually shifted to be nearer the River Dee.
It has been suggested that the name of Aberdeen rather than Aberdee was a compromise designed to incorporate the names of both rivers.
http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/aberdeen/aberdeen/index.html
pedantickarl, take note: placename etymology
No, Bob, I didn’t know that, and it’s precisely the sort of etymological tidbit I find fascinating. “Don” is an old Indo-European word meaning “river,” still visible in “Danube” and, on Marina’s turf, the Dnieper, Dniester, and Don Rivers of Russia and Ukraine. I had thought to ask you if there was a river Deen, being too lazy to look at the map, but fortunately you read my mind, as I was also too lazy to write the question.
There’s an Aberdeen in Washington State, at a river mouth near the Pacific coast.
Actually, my brother bought a bit of land from a place called ‘Kincavel’ about late 2006.
Until this day he still occasionally throws the ‘Laird’ title in conversations. A definite ice-breaker for parties or dull moments
You should use your ‘Lady’ title on your business cards Marina
Milady Marina,
Don’t be surprised if you get a few funny messages now.
Marina is Three times a Lady…
Thanks, Nud, that’s another one I was trying to remember.
Lady Marina in Monaco
Lady Marina off St Marguerite Island, Cannes, France
That pic with the helicopter in it got me thinking of that James Bond movie, “Goldeneye.”
She’s a Lady.
Lay Lady Lay
You wish … bad boy!
@James
Again, a noble and admirable gesture if ever I saw one. Bravo!
Tho must agree that the title applied long before James’ official recognition of same.
That was SWEET! I have a word request my lady! What’s the origin of crush?
Congratulations M’Lady.
Back in the 70s Black Oak Arkansas had an album with a false deed to 1 square inch of land in Arkansas,,,Raunch-n-Roll I think it was,,,gooooooo Jim Dandy.
Request; DANDY
Mi’Lady,
Now that you are a titled land owner, may I be so bold as to offer you the service of my sword to help maintain order on your holdings?
Since we’re talking about Scotland, it had better be a claymore.
Those are ok, but the Lochaber ax would be more fitting. I’ll need to get one of them.
http://s158.photobucket.com/albums/t98/mrpandion/?action=view¤t=lochaber-axe.jpg
Cool! Someone from SCA recently explained the hook…it’s for unhorsing English knights!
***Word Request:***
What does “lady” have in common with the Russian word for “bread”?
Or, does being a “Lady of Leisure” mean you spend your time loafing?
[bad pun canceled]
Good Lord! Are you telling me I’ve been staring at something other than a Lady?
I think not!
.
Bob, help!
I’m drawing a blank. What kind of pun can we make on “Lochaber”? ScotsGaelic for “mouth of the lake,” isn’t it?
Maybe we can start a thread…
“There once was a lass from Lochaber…”
It’s a difficult one to rhyme, isn’t it.
There once was a maid from Lochaber
Whose beau never went to the barber
His appearance was risible
His face was invisible
So she shaved and rinsed him in the harbour.
Doubtlessly while they were at the marina.
Bravo! You may sit at the head of the class now, Bob.
Unless it’s more fun sitting with the rowdies in the back. 
.
A pretty young prof from Lochaber
Had students who tended to jabber.
They were often unpleasant
With punning incessant
And ribald and risque palaver!
(OK, I cheated on the last rhyme, but I have a Toastmasters meeting to get to!)
Actually, you cheated with “jabber” – as you see from my unworthy effort “Lochaber” rhymes with “barber” and “harbor”.
Good limerick though.
Mama Mia
Marina tis’ a Lady now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaHZIn0b9_Q&feature=related
My Lady Marina…
Does that make us your servants?
http://www.englishrussia.com
Hi Marina, My Lady.
I visited htp://www.englishrussia.com and the photo’s were a bit rude.
Dior the clothing company paraded models around Sankt. Petersburg wearing high fashion, and I thought it was an insult to the beautiful woman of Russia.
Maybe you My Lady will comment on this article.
My Russian girlfriend and I have been invited to a Russian meetup this Sunday. I will learn more Russian, and she will learn English.
Marina, You are awesome…
Since James made you a lady, can I make you feel like a woman?
BTW why isn’t the wink smilie the classic
?
James this is great!
Thanks!
If i may be so bold to ask now that you have a plot whats going to be the story Lady Orlova
AHAAAA!!!! A VAMPIRE!!! I KNEW IT! YES, I KNEW IT!!!!
However… I can’t believe she’s devoured Steven Hawking’s brain. I say that story is a just cover-up.
Maybe she just nibbled on his Broca’s Area a little bit.
Comments like that could send me to hell. But I heard the have cake!!!!! ….hehe
Hey Bob, can you go over to Marina’s estate and water the plants when she’s not there?
I hardly think it will be necessary; it’s got the highest rainfall in the British Isles.
I’ll be glad to hold the umbrella though, and to towel her down after her visits.
AWW Thanks Marina!!!
I toatally forgot about “another brain devoured by your hungry hotforwords
Hey dude. You might want to edit your last.
(ed.) Spell check broken? If you use open quotes you need to close them.
http://www.hotforwords.com/2009/01/14/james-made-a-lady-out-of-me/#comment-103479
I was recently watching a Globe Trekker documentary on Scotland. I don’t remember the exact place, but there is this old, abandoned castle/fort where women traditionally go up and flash their breasts out in the open.
Even the presenter, Megan McCormick, flashed her breasts before the camera quickly zoomed OUT a mile away!
beforeAFTER…Speaking of Scottish flashing…The Battle of Stirling 2:02
James has been working on that since Marina’s birthday
Lady Orlova (Dame Marina?) owns title to 144 sq inches of Scotland!
The history of Marina is also an interesting contrivance.
He might like Tea in the Sahara
Wait a sec. 144 sq inches? Isn’t that only a square foot? He bought her a patch of land the size of a bathroom tile? I hope she was joking about begining to build there soon, cuz unless it’s a birdhouse, she might be disapointed.
yeah, the bit of land like these in scotland are often sold in this size.
By Buying a piece of the land does two things :
1) It prevents any land development, as you and other buyers own other pieces (Which I hear is a way of preserving the land)
2) You also own a little bit of Scottish history.
Oh guess I should have read the deed and the other comments a little closer before I made that first response.
Yes it too entitle her too rights and Privilege
There’s more than just tea in the Sahara.
James, that was a very good idea you had.
Well done lad.
I agree; it’s so good that I can only wish that I’d thought of it. (Actually I did but James drew first.)
Youth has its advantages
But it’s wasted on the young.
Oh I don’t know about that. At this rate, when James grows up, he’ll be Lord Orlov!
I wish we were born old and grow up getting younger.
We always known you were a lady.
How dare you use the vulgar word, splendid! It makes me want to spew sugar.
So your going to start building your castle now? Would you like me to send you some Lego’s. It shouldn’t take much to fill one square foot of land.
CJ you should see if she will bestow Knight hood on us now. Only a Knight can protect a Lady.
Only the Queen can knight someone, apart from a vicar…. You can’t take a sword to a man of the cloth.
Once a King, always a King,
But once a Knight is enough!
Capman, We are already Knighted. You remember the discussions from the former secret widget corporation with PK? If you want something more official we can alway look towards the SCA. Though that is a difficult road to travel on. http://bit.ly/Kvpu
hey captain check out my full legal name August Willem Herman Van Suchtelen Van De Haare born in The Netherlands in royal family there hehe now maybe Lady Marian and i should get married to keep our blueblood flowing
Nice move James, well done
Lady Orlova. A tribute to our Teacher.
Dang, you beet me to it!
eating brains means that you’re a zombie/vampire hybird !!
how much does that costs you ?
Its not the land that you were buying for her , its the title
Does this mean you wont be going to camp with the rest of us?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j3mu5mFrPQ
Can you sleep on your feet? I mean square foot?
Losta greats songs about Lady.
FREE GORBY!!!
There’s no such thing as a free puppy.
Word Request: Lady
Might this be the opportune time to
request the origin of the word Lady?
from the Anglo-Saxon, “hlaf-dige” literally “loaf-kneader.” I guess she who hath the bread maketh the rules. And we all know Lady Marina rules! (at least here)
Hence the proverb, “Hlaf a loaf is better than none!”
["Don't laugh or groan, it only encourages him!"]
Hey PK,
Your request is all the more appropriate, because “hlaf” is cognate with the Russian “хлеб” (khleb) meaning “bread.”
I think we should all buy some land there and live next to Lady Marina. It would be standing room only.
At only 1 foot by 1 foot we’re all going to become very close friends.
This just in
I don’t know if Lady is a kind of royal title or not. But I would imagine not if is a fake title for entertainment purposes, e.g. The Duchess of Garbageville. I think there is some governmental prohibition of a U.S. citizen from holding a royal title. Is Marina a U.S. citizen? If not, she should keep arms length from any royal title business, at least until her citizenship (if she intends to obtain it) is granted. You never can tell when some bureaucratic weasel will take something like this and put a check mark in some obscure box that will you screw you over but good later and “there is nothing that can be done about it.”
Of course I don’t know whereof I speak, but better safe than sorry.
Your onto something.
I was just thinking the same thing.
Also somewhere on the tax forms for businesses is something about foreign holdings.
Wonder what the tax on 1 sq ft is over there.
A ladyship is not a royal title. It usually represents people with upper class status.
Yo James
deal even though you needed to find where the $
for the calender shipping cost were coming from 
you manage to
Bravo 
B.B.
purchase property in Scotland so that our dear teacher Marina could attain
Ladyship
Aye, and we’ve always known Marina to be a classy lassy!
The prohibition is against any title of nobility. Royalty is not the issue, just a measure to prevent the government from granting a person the superior status. This prohibition is technically only applicable to the US Federal and State governments.
According to this document any person who receives permission from Congress can hold the Title of a Noble person. If you receive a Noble title without Congressional permission you will loose your American citizen ship. It also states that a few American citizens where granted Knight Hood “IE” Ronald Reagan, but doesn’t say if he had Congressional approval. I don’t think Marina has any problem as she isn’t an American citizen yet and this seems to be more of a honorary title from a company trying to preserve lands for the posterity of wildlife and once a molested land of it’s forests.
http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Titles:of:Nobility:amendment.html
Cap, re-read the intro to the article. The Titles of Nobility Amendment was a proposed amendment. It has never been ratified by the states. See, I knew all those history classes would pay off sooner or later.
even thou i am a vietnam veteran and served in the US Navy Seals i have not obtain us citizenship to uphold my status in the netherlands if i have become US citizen i would have to give up my rights and title i was born with so i desided just to keep my birth citizenship intack
Augie we thank you for serving our and your country. I don’t blame you for not giving up your country of origin. Thanks for being loyal to both countries.
Mike
Mike its my pleasure and duty to protect this USA and my home country as well thanxs fer ur comment enjoy the day
> “…once a molested land of it’s forests.”
Euwwwww. Land rapers and tree humpers.
So, is it then Lady of the Lake at Lochbar Highland Estates? I am waiting for my Excalibur to be knighted King Karl of the TA table. Who shall thine Lord be?
Great stuff James!!
Lord Gorby for now.
Si Senõr…
Is this how Lady Chatterley started? I wonder…..
Lady Marina Orlova it is.
Is this how Lady Chatterly started? I wonder…..
Lady Marina Orlova it is.
SENSATIONAL ALEX HARVEY BAND-FAITH HEALER Scotlands brainsfor james and all
Awesome story! However, you know you’ve always been a Lady, as you’ve always had untold numbers of Lords and Knights serving you (as I have begun to do).
C’mon, Marina, we already knew you were a vamp.
That’s
Lady Orlova 
Now you need to behave.
Now you can feed the polo horses.
funny
Word request”COVENANT” and
MARINA was born a LADY. 
That is ssoul cool James…Also, the plot might raise some chickens 